boom snap clap b-boom snap clap

This morning I was woken by the sun shining on my face and birds singing, how lovely! It was as if summer were here already, but when I got out of bed all the trees were still dead and my car was frozen up. But alas, summer will be here soon and everything will be better. Or so I hope. Really can't wait to escape to Italy, if that plan goes ahead... Last summer was wonderful, it was scorching in the mountains, 38c-ish, 500m above sea level! Chasing lizards and collecting water. I wish I could spend my life like that, all this modern living crap we humans have gotten ourselves into surely can't be healthy... But I guess without globalization I wouldn't have tofu... It's a tough one really. If only tofu grew on trees. Or rather, if only the soya plant was indigenous to England...


Made the fabled carrot cake cupcakes yesterday. The were delicious, I couldn't stop myself from having a second one! The "cream cheese" topping was insane, I think it tasted just like the cow-stuff, but to be honest I can't quite remember 100%

Start my new job on Monday. The joys of returning to retail. Licking people's arses so they buy things. Great. Can't complain too much, it might not be all bad and it'll give me that evil money thing that separates us from other animals. I wonder what the world would be like without money. I'd like that place. It makes me pretty sad when I wonder how many people are living for their payslips so they can buy a new car or just material shite. But then again, it's generally those people, with more demand for more material things that are ruining our planet. But what can one do eh.
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Oh my goddd, I can't get enough of the Guinea Pigs. Bean is just too cute. It makes me want to cry. I was watching The Secret of NIMH the other night, and he was just sat on my neck squeaking and just being really happy with himself. Bless him. Since I hate children and am never having any, I am definitely going to have a house full of animals instead. Children make me feel sickkk, they're little ungrateful shits. But furry, scaly, spikey things I can relate to.

I'm going to make a cup of tea. Enough of this bullshazz.

CLARITY.

Right, to clear a few things up. Apparently, with my veganism I am being a "divine crusader, preaching and alienating (myself) and (I'm) insufferable."

I don't judge people who eat meat, I just prefer it if it's not near me. I don't preach. I keep my thoughts to myself, to the point where I'm scared to argue about it. I don't want to have to keep being pecked down for my life choices. I am happy being vegan, it's something I am very passionate about. The only places I get a bit preachy are on my blogs, because I'm too afraid to get my ideas out to my self-righteous meat eating friends. So I put them on here, where hopefully no-one is affected by them because of my stupidity and poor grammar.

Admittedly, I come on here to blog when I'm down/angry about the state of affairs regarding the relationship between humanity and animals. I have not been "brainwashed" by PETA, I think they're dicks and they contradict my morals - they're sexist and not really looking out for the animals, and they benefit the cruelty industry by making people feel good for ofsetting their contributions to it by donating to PETA. The only thing I agree with them on is that meat eaters should know the journey through torture and suffering the poor animals take to their plate.

I'm 50/50 on the A.L.F, I'm against violence and think that it gives the whole animal rights side negative publicity. Just sometimes though, I think it would be a good idea to put people through what's done to animals.

It upsets me that I have to argue my way through my beliefs. I hate being put down for it. I go about it quietly, my only voice about it is "Oh no, sorry, I don't eat meat, please don't give me that" or "No, I don't eat cheese or milk or egg or anything with animal product in it either, sorry to inconvenience you". I don't bother you so much, why bother me. Let me get on with my life.

Tomorrow, tomorrow

Hooray. I got a job. In a dried fruit shop. Go me. (Finally a job where I don't have anything to do with corpse!) It's only twenty hours, but it's better than nothing. Means I can have time to maybeee sort out my life, which I'm pissing away at the moment. I have too many hopes that I'm just kind of sat on my arse doing bugger all to fulfill them, possibly because I have a lot of them on my plate... I think I need a kick up the arse and to stop making excuses.

Secretly quite bummed about the whole University-fail thing. I was really hoping to go, just to occupy myself for three years, but that's probably why I didn't get in. Maybe I'll apply again and go for something different, rather than Geology go for Physical Geography or Conservation. I think my ideal way to go would be up in some treehouse in the rainforest canopy counting Gibbons. Seriously, I'd love that too much.

I'm reading up some stuff about the cruelty trade and I'm worried that at somepoint soon I'm going to tip and end up going A.L.F on everyone's ass. I know I won't; I'm surely too much of a pussy but sometimes it's a thought that crosses my mind. Not gonna happen though. Maybez.

Hurghhh. Maybe it's January, maybe it's the waning winter but I'm feeling down lately. (excuses are my fave) Can't seem to find joy in many things at the moment. It'll pass soon though, I hope.

Going to make carrot cake cupcakes tomorrow, in the hope that seeing people go nuts over them will cheer me up a bit. Sounds totally lame but I wish I had another vegan friend! I'm cast adrift in a sea of meat eaters and at the moment it's sort of doing me in. Bleghh. Again, hopefully that'll pass. What's with this entry being totally pathetic! Buh! Cheer uppp!

Ahaha, something that did cheer me up earlier today; the fact that I don't smell the way I used to? Sounds weird, but you know everyone has their own smell...? Or am I weird? Well anyway, I smell of spice. Ahaha... I definitely put it down to my diet! But it's way way way better than probably smelling of cheese when I used to be vegetarian. Well, there's a strange notion for you...

Yeah, it's over, you can bet in mid-October that I will still be ranting 'bout most early May... See yeah he's a winner he's a goddamn sinner.........

Shit on my face. Yesterday I was blessed with the musical genius of not only Brand New, but Glassjaw themselves. It is literally too much for my little brain to process what an amazing night it was. Glassjaw.... Hooo'ee. What a fucking important band, most people don't appreciate just how momentous they are, especially for alternative music today. They were amazing, but Daryl Palumbo didn't look so well... He looked really ill and thin and had massive black bags around his eyes. It made me wonder why they're still going, but they put on a really good show. I would rather I saw them in a smaller venue; Wembley Arena is massive, and most of the people were yucky couples who came for the Brand New ballads. But I'm pretty sure the energy of Glassjaw touched everyone there. And I won't complain either, so many people would probably eat their own arm to see Glassjaw!

Brand New were intense too, what an amazing set. They had the audience in their hands, which was quite a feat considering just how many people were there. Really left me reeling, what a great band. I feel so priviledged to have seen these two extremely influential and incredible bands, and all in one night too!

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Only one bummer from yesterday, and a pretty massive one too; went to a Malaysian restaurant because we were pretty starved, and I'm pretty convinced there was something fishy in the curry. Literally. It tasted fishy... Bleughh. Wanted to make them aware of what a catastrophe their mistake was but they didn't speak very good English so it would've been too much of a hastle to put on a game of charades to get the point across. Made me pretty mad/sad though. Tried to brush it off. I didn't want to let my usual go-apeshit-and-punish-yourself reigime after a slip up ruin my night. Feel bad today. It's not on though, being in a sea full of flesh eaters who don't understand or accomodate for my morals. But what can you do. NOT EAT OUT!! EVER!!! UNLESS IT'S A VEGGIE PLACE!!!! :D a*holes...

It made me feel funny all night... To be honest, I never want to eat out again. I haven't in so long, and the food was so shit. We make better food from us, without any crap in it. And I know for a fact that corpse has been nowhere near it. Yuck. It would be nice to be able to trust people, but I really can't. It makes me want to start up my own little cafe place even more! No idea where I'm going to get the money, I'm piss-poor and potless right now. And I want to see more of the world before I'm tied down. And the thought of being tied down really scares me; I like to be able to get up and go when it all gets too much. I like to reinvent myself when I'm away from the environment that made me the me I am. It's so good to come back, with a clear head and a new perspective and new ideas. Call me a coward or what you may, but that's how I am.

On another note, the other day I was watching a peta video. I make a point not to; I don't like the shock tactics they use to get the point across. If you don't want to see a travesty, it's your choice. Like when I was a kid, and there were people with big posters of nasty vivisection in the highstreet and the mangled corpses of cats and foxes stopped me from sleeping at night. I didn't need that really. At a young age. But back to my point - this peta video looked like a positive one, a collection of their achievements. I think. But a clip came up that made me well up instantly, I scrambled to turn if off and sat there fighting back a panic attack. It was two adult Pigs hung up by one hind leg each in the back of a van (my hands are shaking typing this) thrashing, bloody, bruised, filthy, petrified. Scared shitless. Because they were going to die. Bled to death. I only saw this for a few seconds. Witnessed through a screen. I wasn't there. Sick to my very soul. Didn't sleep much that night. But wait. Let's take a moment to assess this. Why were those poor Pigs hung up? People. That word... People. Us. We did this. To those poor animals. We're animals. We're doing it to ourselves. Why does no-one see that? I hate being one of these "people". We live on violence and pain. We love to spread suffering. Think about it. For a while. Think about the world we have made.

Trillions of animals die by our hand each year. I felt for those Pigs like they were brothers. They are my brothers. And yours. And you're probably eating them.

I have lost faith in mankind. I want nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with the violence they cause and thrive on.

Unfortunately...

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In conclusion, my views on peta changed in a few split seconds. Let them know what they are causing. Shove it down their throats. Let them choke on it. If it stops people eating corpse and in turn, stops them killing, maybe the world we will make in the end will be a good one. One by one we will know the truth and we will all see. With eyes wide open.

Not a very postive blog. You probably didn't want to hear it. I can guarantee that you will probably think I'm some vegan hippy dick-head. Go on, if you want to argue about how wrong I am go nuts. I'm pretty fucking mad right now. I'll give you a run for your money.

Schquealers

I have been appointed the guardian of dear mother's new baby guinea pigs. I don't think I'll ever be able to leave the house without them. They are too darling! The shy black one is Bean and the naughty ginger one is Hank. Don't ask. They're so naughty! Bean has a thing for hiding in my hood. Can't get enough.

Job hunting is a crock of shit, rejection is nay fun. So, this morning I got up and helped mum out up her yard to muck out when, like a divine bolt (if such a thing exists), the idea hit me. My cousin was talking about opening a cake shop in Portsmouth, and I thought, maybe I should open a little vegan/vegetarian cake and sandwich shop somewhere. I'd love making cakes and stuff! Hummus is cheap and easy to make, and tasty... Maybe it'll be worth looking into. Think I'd really enjoy it! Considering also, yesterday I got the news that I didn't make it into Cardiff University. The only University I really wanted to go to. The rest are okay, but I'm not so keen. Also think I might've made the wrong choice of course, thinking I might want to go into Conservation instead of Geology. Buhh. Ah well. I have two little squealers to shower with love and brocolli.

Suckahs and chumps.

Waking up today at 7.15am was very hard; tried to talk to Roma when she came in but my voice just didn't want to kick in. I definitely wasn't of this world until about 9am. Coming into consciousness at an early hour for the first time in ages takes its toll on me. I'm just about ready for schleep now and it's 6.05pm. If I were to carry on the way I was, I would have slept my life away, I'm pretty sure. So why did I wake up so early? Merely to take Rome to college. And help mum out. And pick Rome up again. And go to Portsmouth; my least favourite city in the world, even though I live in it. Hurgh. It just has this terrible atmosphere, like wherever you look you might get bottled for not wearing a Portsmouth Footbal Club shirt, slash, merely being different. Oh, the mentality. Handed out loads of CV's, which was lovely because most of the time I was met with a blank face and a really nasty "No, we're not taking CV's and we don't have any jobs." A-holes. Had a few promising encounters, at a coffee shop, a Shakeaway and a Lush. Weeyy. Not looking forward to working in retail again though, my 8-month long Starbucks rape experience gives me ample fear. Ah well, money's money. At the end of the day it'll get me where I want to be.

Found some biscuits I could eat, Hobnobs! Haven't eaten crap like that (other than my cupcakes..oops) for quite a while! As soon as it went in my mouth I broke into a 10-minute fit of laughter. Tears, convulsions, shudders, squeals, the lot. Roma looked on in dismay. Not too sure how I feel about that! Either, my body was really fucking happy for a biscuit or there were some psycho additives in them...

Ventured into Southsea, the genuinely kooky and happenin' part on the hunt for wheat gluten, to no avail. But we did go into this crazy-ass hippy crystal shop and spend the best part of an hour drooling over the crystals. Really cool. Not 100% sure how I feel about all the crystal shennanigans, it's rather hippy-trippy but it's a kind of comforting thought I guess. Bought a huge nugget of rose quartz for £1.50, which was amazing. But more amazing was how the guy sold it to me, he took it off me, sprayed it with something then cracked a tuning fork off a giant jade buddha statue and waved the tuning fork over the crystal. I left the shop shocked, intrigued and genuinely overjoyed after that!

My "Animal-Free Shopper" book arrived today, so I'm going to be able to fully understand things I can and can't eat without trawling through the internet for ages. Hooray! Its going to make a good read methinks. Or leave me totally apathetic about the whole cruelty trade. Hmm. Either way.

OH MY GOD, BRAND NEW

Yep, going to see them in Wembley on Saturday. Totally nuts. Can't wait. Don't know what to say really! Not quite sure how I'll get back, might just hang with the cracka's and bums in Waterloo. (In an ideal world that would be safe. Or there wouldn't be any homeless. Or I could get back from London easily) Hella excited though.

Still on the ideal world shabang, hopefully I'll get millions of calls tomorrow asking me about when I can come in to start my new full-time job in a nice quiet coffee shop. And I'd have enough diesel to get places. Bughhh. Right, I'm going. Godt Nacht.

SHITTT I'M GOING TO SEE BRAND NEW!!!!!!